Momentary Bliss

When I have held myself back for so long from that which I crave... Sometimes I just give in... It's not that I don't have any self control at all for if I completely lacked it I wouldn't have stopped at all. It's that this longing to be longed for still hasn't left me and My Love of Love still stays too. The love of the Lord should be enough and one day it will. Right now I am out of balance. I am a seesaw going back and forth from one thought to the next. From one feeling to the next. One day I want what I know I don't want. The next day I forget all that I have told myself is bad for a moment of bliss. The Bliss that is so intoxicating that will then lead to my own confusion. The heart hold Truth but it also holds lies. How am I to decided which is real and which is false in my eyes...? I am only human and I will continue to do that which I know will not glorify you. Forgive me Lord for I sin with my thoughts. Take these thoughts away from me. These desires for that which I know is no good. But why? Why must things be so complicated. In fact they are not as difficult as I think they are. If I could only think about me and my own desires and yours but not theirs. Not the desires of others. I am cursed to think so much of what they want that I continue to sacrifice my own well being for the momentary happiness and bliss of a one. It goes on. One day though I will stick to my words. I will be done.