My Dreams keep telling me that I need to address some part of myself. I think it might be the part that is lying. Something telling me I would be okay with certain situations, when really I am not okay with it.
The thing is that there is this great big part of me that wants it.
The silly masochistic side of me wants hurt.
I want to scream at that person!
I want to scream shut up you are wrong! You don't remember anything of the pain you have previously felt! You do remember how you felt when you hurt someone else. That is something you would never want to repeat.
Not at your own expense though. What are you thinking? That hurting yourself is better because at least you don't hurt someone else.
What kind of ridiculous thought is that?
When I hurt myself I do hurt someone else. Jesus.
I put the Lord back up on the cross.
Not nice.
Who do I want to make happy? Man or God?
My tendency is towards Man. That is only because I have practiced in making man happy for years. It's time to practice making God happy. It's hard. I just need to try harder.