Expressions of lust are a lying tale. Told to her at the midnight hour.
It's not love which you engage in, for if it were you would feel no pain.
Yet sometimes in our love we experience pain. It is a feeling that comes
with a fear. Fear of Loss of love. This love is inside her and will not be taken.
It rides on the wave of life. A piece of her heart is more difficult to take vs. a piece of her soul.
See the soul is easily given. A quick insertion and then it's gone. She is left lifeless and broken, alone and wandering.
Yet there is a body beside her and it means nothing.
This interaction of body leaves no interaction of mind. It makes her sick.
She feels as if she is never going to stop. It hurts her so good.
The moments of love she felt from another can't help but encompass her mind.
She thinks of times when she longed for you and never felt your love returned.
It didn't matter. The thought of you is enough to keep her desiring your life.
She has a secret desire that you will one day return to her with open arms.
Reciting words that come from a true place. She hopes for invitations to lovely
lunch meetings, beach times and life adventures. All she ever got was a night time version
of your secluded life. She always wanted more. She always wants more. It seems however that no one wants to be that with her.
It's her own fault. She does it to herself. Giving up her soul so quickly. There is no longer anything to work for.
Endless amounts of cigarettes fill the air. Starting another addiction as you work hard to phase another one out.
It's as if you haven't tried to change at all. You see your actions speak louder than your words. Your justifications don't help anyone. Your justifications are pointless. Like the existence of your body being used up by people without feelings.
People who care nothing about themselves and therefore have no means to care for her.
It's an endless cycle of dealing with those lost in their own depressions. Day by Day she says. Yet she looks far into the future and wishes it were the now. It isn't the now. Life is to be dealt with. It should be enjoyed with times of love and happiness. There are so many problems to be dealt with. So many issues to be addressed and that is the only way she knows.
He understands her does he? Who? Who understands her? No one. She will live in a secluded attitude. Shut off from all judgement and all life. Never to return. I love you still. Whatever that means.